Having oral sex while not married could get him disfellowshipped tomorrow Diamonddiiz. I think JW's are are not even good marriage mates for each other but what other choices do they have? Oh yeah, leave for a while, find someone worldly, then go back and make nice. If I had a nickle for every time.....
cognizant dissident
JoinedPosts by cognizant dissident
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62
I don't believe my boyfriend is 100% committed to this religion. How to handle?
by herlovelyworld inhi guys!
im very new here and i need a little help.. im not a witness, but i know all of the quirks and rules and whatnot because my long-distance boyfriend is a witness.
the issue, other than the obvious, is that i fell in love with him before he told me he was one of jehovahs witnesses.
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Online Dating: Tried It?
by daringhart13 inhas anyone tried online dating?.
i travel constantly and feel like i'm only home on weekends....tough to meet anyone near me..... any success?
waste of time?.
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cognizant dissident
White Dove, I think the type of dating service one joins is also very important. I've seen some that were exclusively for married people who want to cheat discreetly, no strings. I've seen others that are all young people putting up naked pictures of themselves. I think there are some that cater to more middle aged professional people who are looking for the same. E-Harmony will not even let separated people join. You have to be legally divorced.
I should also stress there are plenty of sleaze bags on line. I was talking to one man by email for about a week. I got red flags from him because he kept calling me Dear and Honey, and capitalizing True Love which I thought was all premature for a weeks conversation with someone I had never met. Sure enough, within a week, he had some emergency while out of country and hit me up to wire him some money to the UK. Yeah, like I was born yesterday. I told him I was a poor student living on a student loan and had no money to lend. Never heard from him again. (I blocked him anyway, just in case)
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I don't believe my boyfriend is 100% committed to this religion. How to handle?
by herlovelyworld inhi guys!
im very new here and i need a little help.. im not a witness, but i know all of the quirks and rules and whatnot because my long-distance boyfriend is a witness.
the issue, other than the obvious, is that i fell in love with him before he told me he was one of jehovahs witnesses.
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cognizant dissident
Nathan Natas nailed it for you. If you are wise, you will listen.
The fact that your boyfriend got uncomfortable and tried to change the subject when you brought up religious issues with him, speaks volumes. He is not truly comfortable with totally open-minded communication. That is a more likely predictor of doom for the relationship than being a JW, imo.
He may not be 100% committed to the religion on an intellectual or doctrinal level, but if he is 100% committed to his family and the obligation and guilt he feels, then he is 100% committed to the religion regardless of the reasons for the committal. At any rate, he cannot be 100% committed to you if his family and other social obligations influence him more than you do.
You describe a slightly nerdy, 23 year old virgin. I'm guessing the thought of having sex with you will probably get him to agree to anything at this point. However, years down the road, when the novelty of sex and your relationship has worn off, and a couple of kids in house trigger all his own childhood conditioning to come to the fore (which often happens when couples have children), the differences might become an impassable gulf.
You said a small part of him is OK with maybe giving you flowers on Valentines or letting you have a Christmas tree? That means a BIG part of him isn't OK with it. That is the part you should be paying attention to. Just the fact that he thinks he will "let you" tells you much about the mindset of the JW male. He has been trained from childhood to believe he will be the head of the house, the head of you, and you should be submissive. If he changes his mind and no longer decided to "let you", you will be expected to submit to your husbandly head. This will be constantly reinforced in his head if he ever goes back to the meetings. You may also end up in a heartbreaking battle for your children's minds, if he changes his.
This is not a once a week on Sunday religion. It encompasses every single aspect of its members lives and by default their spouses lives. Nothing will be sacred including your sex life. He may yet decide to confess every single intimate detail of your oral sex to a committee of old men in a fit of misguided guilt.
Sure, he might see your points and get out if he can mature and learn to think for himself. Right now, from what you've described, he is not in that place. It's only wishful thinking on your part. Do you want to gamble your future happiness on it?
You don't have to break up with him if you don't want to, but do not move in with him, marry him or have a child with him, until you see for sure which path he ends up taking. Make sure it is his mind that has changed not just his behaviour. Many, many, many JW's walk on the wild side until they find a mate in the world, and then they want to return to the fold and make themselves right with Jehovah, now that they are happy and content with their life. (leaving the unbelieving mate to say, WTF happened?
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Online Dating: Tried It?
by daringhart13 inhas anyone tried online dating?.
i travel constantly and feel like i'm only home on weekends....tough to meet anyone near me..... any success?
waste of time?.
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cognizant dissident
Daringhart:
Women can have just a strong a sex drive as men. Sometimes stronger. It's good not to generalize. There are always people on those sites who come right out and say they don't want a relationship, just sex. As if having sex isn't having a relationship. I think what they mean is they don't want a commitment. Which is fine. As long as both people are up front about it. I would rather someone be up front about this so that people who are looking for more of a committed monogamous relationship don't waste their time with them.
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Online Dating: Tried It?
by daringhart13 inhas anyone tried online dating?.
i travel constantly and feel like i'm only home on weekends....tough to meet anyone near me..... any success?
waste of time?.
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cognizant dissident
I've done it. I had a date last week, in fact. There were no sparks but he was a nice guy and I'm glad I did it to help get my feet wet.
I think it is a good way for singles to make introductions to one another. You can put in all your search preferences and pre-screen all your deal-breakers out up front. When you approach someone attractive in a store or restaurant, you have no idea if they are available or interested in dating. You have no idea what kind of a person they are or what their interests are. On-line dating services do the first step (which is the hardest) for you. Everyone there is presumably single and looking. You can weed out people you don't find physically attractive or who creep you out by what they've said about themselves without all the risk and embarrassment of approaching strangers. You can select people who have already said they have interests in common with you.
That being said, always meet somewhere public and low-key on first date, such as coffee shop. Don't just carry on an email or chat relationship. People can pretend to be anything and even if they are 100% truthful, physical chemistry is something that you cannot judge on-line. It is necessary to meet to get a true sense of a person.
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Whole congregation leaves...
by cyberjesus incan you please mention some examples of whole congregations leaving the wt?
i just saw a post of a congregation leaving in sicily in 1988, the 4 elders and 70 members.
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cognizant dissident
When I was a child in the 1970's, the entire Greek congregation in Vancouver, BC was disbanded due to apostasy on the part of most of the elders. The elders were all df'd and the loyal congregation members were split up and sent to neighbouring congregations.
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...Who is the "Bilderberg Group"?...What effect Do they Have on your Life?...
by OUTLAW inthis thread is your chance to participate in an investigation... google is your friend..use it... .
the "bilderberg group" is a publicy known group..they don`t hide... they are the worlds "most" powerful people.. they influence your life everyday... they will influence your future... they have an agenda..and..have made a public statement about it... i will make the 1st post... of a public statement made by the "bilderberg group"... .
denis healey.
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cognizant dissident
OK, I just want to say, that while I don't agree with Outlaw's take on all of this, given the history of cameo-d's posts on this forum, the queen of the tin-foil hats suggesting he is wearing a tin foil hat, is side-splittingly hilarious!
Uh, hello pot? This is the kettle. Your black!
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...Who is the "Bilderberg Group"?...What effect Do they Have on your Life?...
by OUTLAW inthis thread is your chance to participate in an investigation... google is your friend..use it... .
the "bilderberg group" is a publicy known group..they don`t hide... they are the worlds "most" powerful people.. they influence your life everyday... they will influence your future... they have an agenda..and..have made a public statement about it... i will make the 1st post... of a public statement made by the "bilderberg group"... .
denis healey.
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cognizant dissident
I agree with Satanus on this one. I don't see global government as a big problem. I see it as a much more efficient way to get things done without the obstacles of nationalism standing in the way.
Also, the world is overpopulated and the masses are using up the resources although not in an equitable way. The rich, elite few already rule the world governments and economies. Millions are already being ethnically cleansed in national and civil wars. Millions of the poor are already dying and starving. Contagious diseases already take the lives of millions every year.
All of that is already the reality of the world we live in, today. We don't need an elite world government to create a conspiracy to make it happen in the future. If pharmaceutical companies would stop making vaccines and medicines, then millions more people would die every year.
Getting the brightest minds to stop working at cross purposes and start working cooperatively to solve some of these problems could not be any worse of an undertaking than what we have now.
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Update on Lady Lee
by Dogpatch inlee got her computer today and is setting it up.
all works but her dsl and she is beside herself.
she may be back on tomorrow; gots to go down to the merchant and get their help.. thank all of you so much.
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cognizant dissident
My internet provider (Shaw Cable) comes with its own anti-virus software for free which I find just excellent. I've never had a problem but when I had Norton, I did have an occasional virus get through still. Plus its expensive.
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Update on Lady Lee
by Dogpatch inlee got her computer today and is setting it up.
all works but her dsl and she is beside herself.
she may be back on tomorrow; gots to go down to the merchant and get their help.. thank all of you so much.
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cognizant dissident
If you can't trust Randy and Lady Lee, then you can't trust any one! That was kind of you to pass the hat for her Randy.
I think it's better to risk getting burned occasionally, than to let past bad experiences erode our natural generosity of spirit.